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10 things you only know if you work backstage in wardrobe.

If you work backstage as wardrobe staff in theatres, there are certain things you know comes with the territory that would seem strange to the rest of the world. We’ve listed some of our favourites here. Think we’ve missed some? We’d love to hear some of your suggestions in the comments section below or on Facebook. So without further ado, here is our list of things you only know if you work in wardrobe.

1.) The sun hurts…


When tech rehearsals begin you know that being stuck inside a stuffy theatre or venue all day with no natural light is one of the circles of hell reserved for wardrobe staff. Get the vitamin D supplements at the ready.


2.) Some actors will probably think you’re their mum…


We’ve all been there. You head to the actors dressing room to pick up the laundry basket and you are instead greeted with a scene from Apocalypse Now. Picking up sweaty post-show pants and socks off of the floor at the end of a long day is now your life…just call me Mummy! Which is why you know the next point makes sense…


3.) Hand sanitiser is your best friend…


After handling a few sweaty socks and show-pants that have seen better days, you start fearing the germ. Not to worry you have your trusty hand-san at the ready. You can mostly be seen backstage using it liberally like Robbie Williams after shaking hands with a fan.


4.) Post-work drinks start at 11 pm…


Whilst for the rest of the world post-work cocktails start at 5.30pm, for the non-muggles post-work now means 11 pm. The night is still young!


5.) You know every variety of microwave meal…


Once reserved for students and singles, the humble microwave meal is now your gourmet delight. The crew room is now your kitchen and the familiar ‘ping’ of the microwave will have you salivating like Pavlov’s dog.


6.) Wearing colour is a treat…


How many shades of black do you have? That’s about as colourful as it gets if you’re backstage. Colour is now something to look forward to.


7.) Smiling is your new armour…


Whilst many artists can be a delight, there is usually one in every company that requires the smile of steal. Grit those teeth and don’t bight when you’re told, “something doesn’t feel right with this costume” for the hundredth time that day.


8.) Catering staff and wardrobe staff ARE NOT interchangeable…


If you work in live music for some reason this is something production managers don’t understand…Apparently, we should all be able to sew and do a good fry-up.


9.) You are completely desensitised to all bare flesh…


You used to blush, but now you’ve seen enough bum cheeks and slipped nipples to fill Playboy magazine. Chill, we’ve all got this junk.


10.)You have the ability to not laugh at the ridiculousness of it all…


When you keep a straight face when you see an actor ‘lose it’ whilst dressed as a cupcake, or a dancer having wobbler whilst adorning a giant crustacean on their head (fill in daft costume for yourself), you know you’ve cracked this thing.

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